INTP: Feeling at Home with Feeling

Wow!  I stumbled on this after following a series of links I don’t recall over the past several days. This is what happens when I leave tabs open for while. Good things! This nearly describes me to a T before experiencing the simultaneous traumas of job and relationship loss. Without a doubt, these events were the catalyst which brought forth my hidden personality, the one who FEELS, or in MBTI-speak, my inferior Fe.

While I may have acted this out in some unhealthy ways, I feel that for the most part, it worked out well for me. For one thing, my analytical thinking mind fully expected that this would happen. While I had always prided myself on my ability to remain objectively detached, I was aware of a part of me who wanted very much to feel more. I also knew that someday I would get my wish. So, when, after breaking up with my boyfriend and then losing my job, I suddenly became very aware of and interested in learning how to utilize my feelings constructively, I did not reject it at all. Instead, I (not necessarily consciously), did engage in many of the practices suggested here as positive things to do, particularly throwing myself into my passions.

In many ways, the people and circumstances which surrounded me in my new state of being, offered these opportunities for expression of my newfound personality part. Of course, I no longer had the work obligations to concern myself with, and as a Thinking dominant type, I was unconcerned about social obligations anyway. I’m sure that other people did notice that I was acting out of character, and some may have suspected major mental problems or out of control drug use. Even I didn’t recognize myself for a time…until I did.

At first it was like a foreigner had moved in to my body, but in just a short time, rather than feeling like I was possessed by some outside entity, I began to recall this part of myself, and not only accept, but love and appreciate it as me. As for the Feeling part of myself, it looked around the place upon arrival, and, disapproving of the lack of attention to aesthetics, quickly took charge of the situation.

“Who the hell has been wearing these clothes like this? I need glitter eye shadow pronto! And a velvet hat and lace thigh highs.”

All things that were very uncharacteristic of my Thinking personality, who couldn’t be bothered with things considered nonintellectual.

My Feeling part was glad to be home, my Thinking part was relieved at her return, and I (the one who, more so than before, embodies a balance of both) am glad to finally be at home with Myself.

Remember: Our shadow sides or hidden personalities are not necessarily dark. They are just rejected, and could probably use some love.

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